Why it's impossible to write a good college admission essay

If America's teenagers revealed their true essences, high-minded universities would flee in terror

Two students
(Image credit: iStock)

As the parent of a rising high school senior, I've been to my fair share of college information sessions lately. The admissions officer always concludes with the same set of comments about the application: namely, that the college essay must capture your true and authentic voice and reveal the essence of who you really are. Exactly that line, 100 percent of the time.

I look over at my son every time, his eyes glazed over. I love this kid, and the essence of who he really is astounds me. But there is no way in hell that he, flipping through his Instagrams and quietly plotting his next meal, is going to have an easy time summing up his essential him-ness in 500 words.

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Annabel Monaghan is a lifestyle columnist at The Week and the author of Does This Volvo Make My Butt Look Big? (2016), a collection of essays for moms and other tired people. She is also the author of two novels for young adults, A Girl Named Digit (2012) and Double Digit (2014), and the co-author of Click! The Girls Guide to Knowing What You Want and Making it Happen (2007). She lives in Rye, New York, with her husband and three sons. Visit her at www.annabelmonaghan.com.