It must be true…
I read it in the tabloids
A Texas man took his girlfriend to a mountaintop to propose marriage and wound up needing the help of a high-altitude rescue operation. Joshua Mason took Katie Davis for an 8-mile hike up Colorado’s Jasper Peak and got down on one knee when they reached the 13,000-foot summit. She said “yes,” but the happy couple got lost on the way down the mountain and started to panic. Cold, dehydrated, and suffering altitude sickness, they were found at midnight by a hiker and taken off the peak by a rescue team. Despite the ordeal, the sheriff’s office said, “the couple’s engagement was still on.”
A herd of mountain goats is being airlifted out of Olympic National Park in Washington state, after the beasts developed an insatiable thirst for human sweat and urine. The park lacks the natural salt needed by the goats, an invasive species, so they try to satisfy their sodium cravings by licking the sweat and urine of hikers and campers, sometimes approaching people aggressively. The horned animals have become such a danger to walkers that the National Park Service has begun tranquilizing the goats, placing them in harnesses, and having them flown by helicopter to a nearby forest.
A Ukrainian psychotherapist has come up with an unusual treatment for his troubled patients: He buries them alive. Andrey Zhelvetro puts his clients in coffins and buries them in shallow graves in the woods; they breathe through a rubber pipe that runs to the surface. The patients are dug up after two hours underground, with a new appreciation for life. “When I got out of the coffin, I felt as if I had become a new person,” said one client. ■