Stephen Colbert kicked off Monday's Late Show by wishing his viewers a happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, then noting that in Alabama and Mississippi, it's also Robert E. Lee Day. "Look, even if you like Robert E. Lee, there's a lot of other Mondays out there," he said. But it's also "Day 4 of S--thole Gate," Colbert said. "I'm confident to my core that that's going to be bleeped, because CBS has higher standards than the president." Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) is standing by his assertion that Trump said "shithole," he said, adding: "Really, I'm allowed to say 'Dick Durbin?' That's surprising."
Before Trump denied saying that exact vulgarity on Friday, he was reportedly calling friends to brag about it. "He's like a toddler calling his mom to the potty: 'Come look at the load I dropped in the national discourse,'" Colbert said. He also compared Trump to a "racist Rumpelstiltskin." Like his fellow late-night hosts, Colbert wasn't overly impressed with the reported GOP assertion that Trump said "shithouse," not "shithole": "Either way, Trump is being a complete asshouse, who maybe, maybe, doesn't belong in the White Hole."
Colbert noted Trump's growing bromance with House Majority Leader Kevin "My Kevin" McCarthy, who gave Trump a jar of just strawberry and cherry Starbursts after noticing red and pink are the only colors he eats. He didn't dawdle on the punch line: "Oh, so Trump likes some colors more than others, just like his immigration policy."
Colbert noted the Wall Street Journal report that Trump paid an adult film star $130,000 to stay quiet about a 2006 affair during the final days of the 2016 election. "That is truly shocking — that Donald Trump paid one of his contractors," he quipped. You can watch his other musings about L'Affaire Stormy Daniels below. Peter Weber