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August 17, 2018

Omarosa Manigault Newman's new White House tell-all has some eye-catching rumors about first lady Melania Trump, including that she chooses her wardrobe to irk President Trump and can't wait to divorce him after Trump leaves office. "That is going to be tough on Trump, because whatever lawyer she gets is already better than his," Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday's Late Show. Whether or not those allegations are true, "there are other signs Melania is distancing herself from Trump," he said, including her supportive statement about LeBron James after her husband called him stupid.

"Now, things may seem tense with Donald and Melania, but they also just spent last week on vacation together, so maybe they've patched things up," Colbert said. To get an insight on that, he turned to Late Show Melania Trump impersonator Laura Benanti. So, are Omarosa's allegations true? he asked. "Of course not, Stephen, she is a wacky lowlife," Late Show Melania replied. "What kind of person ends up in the White House after being on The Apprentice? Ohhh." And what about the LeBron James statement? "LeBron shows that it's never too late to leave home and sign with another team," she said, with sartorial backup. Watch the entire exchange, and the ersatz first lady doing the floss, below. Peter Weber

August 17, 2018

Omarosa Manigault Newman's Unhinged book tour has really gotten under the president's skin, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show, wondering if President Trump regrets having fired her (again). Trump has reportedly told advisers he wants Manigault Newman arrested, though it's unclear what the charge would be. "What law did she break?" Colbert asked, in Trump voice. "Is my heart a law?"

He turned to Omarosa's new secret recording, this one involving Lara Trump offering Manigault Newman "$15,000 a month to hush, to work for the campaign in a job as assistant secretary of keeping your trap shut." Omarosa has made it clear she has a lot more recordings, she's not going away, and her tapes are better than their tapes. "Maybe, but I bet Russia has you both beat," Colbert said. In her maudlin response, Lara Trump tried to shame Omarosa, saying there are some things, like friendship, "you just can't put a price on." Colbert agreed, "but silence is about $15,000 a month."

"You think you can arrest Omarosa?" Seth Meyers asked on Late Night. "This is a person you tried to fire four times, and you still can't get rid of her." Still, Trump's first attempt to silence her was hiring her for a fifth time, with that $15,000-a-month job offer, he noted. "So first they hired Omarosa, then they fired her, then they tried to hire her again to buy her off. This is how Trumpism works: Everyone is conning everyone else, and in the process, they're conning the rest of us, too," Meyers said. Even Fox & Friends, Trump's favorite feel-good TV show, is "telling you that it's all just a giant grift."

At The Daily Show, Trevor Noah and Michael Kosta looked at the booming, sometimes grift-y business of hating on Trump. Watch below. Peter Weber

August 16, 2018

Tom Arnold, promoting a Viceland show about hunting for "the Trump tapes," sat down with Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday's Kimmel Live, and he said Omarosa Manigault Newman is right — there is tape of President Trump using the N-word. On reality TV shows, "the crew has fun" and creates compilations tapes, Arnold explained, and in 2016 he mentioned on a comedy show that he's seen an Apprentice compilation tape in which Trump uses the N-word and also jokes that Eric Trump is mentally disabled. "There's two people that have never called me a liar about the N-word tape: Donald Trump and Mark Burnett," Arnold said. "Because they know it's true. They absolutely know it's true."

Burnett, the Apprentice producer, and Trump are "best friends," Arnold claimed, and Burnett is protecting the president. "If you could see one day of Donald Trump on that set, one full day, you'll realize, 'Oh my God, that's what's going on in the White House — he's incompetent, he is racist, he sexually harasses people,'" he said. "You've seen it?" Kimmel asked. "Absolutely I've seen it, and you will see it," he said. "And there's a pee-pee tape!"

"The truth is, we don't know if there's a tape," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show, and Roy Wood Jr. explained why he hopes there isn't one. When Noah suggested fallout from a recording of Trump using the N-word "would be catastrophic," Wood played his own "tapes of Trump saying racist things," not secretly. "You don't need to wait for a secret tape to prove Trump is a racist," he said.

"I don't give a damn about what an N-word tape would mean for Donald Trump, I care what it would mean for black people," Wood said. "The last thing we need is his supporters hearing him say the N-word, because then the floodgates open. We're gonna hear Trump supporters using that word everywhere." Watch below. Peter Weber

August 15, 2018

"All hell is breaking loose in Washington as the battle between President Trump and his former adviser/Apprentice contestant Omarosa rages on," Jimmy Kimmel said on Tuesday's Kimmel Live. "I'm not sure who I'm supposed to root for in this — it's like Lord Voldemort versus King Joffrey." In her new book, Unhinged, Manigault Newman "called the president racist, a bigot, and a misogynist. She also claims to have heard a recording of Trump using the N-word several times," he added, reading some of Trump's tweeted denials, including the one where he celebrated firing "that dog" Omarosa. "Only Donald Trump would defend himself from being racist by saying something sexist," Kimmel sighed. "I think this is what Melania was talking about when she said Be Best."

Manigault Newman got some backup on the N-word tape from fellow former Apprentice contestants Penn Jillette and Tom Arnold, and she also released a secret recording of Trump campaign officials talking about how to respond to a tape of Trump saying the N-word. The White House is worried that Omarosa has dozens of other tapes, that other staffers have tapes, and that the Apprentice tape will come out, "and on top of all those, we uncovered this tape today of the president using all kinds of N-words, N-words galore," Kimmel said.

On The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon put on his Trump outfit and makeup and anchored the Trump News Network. "Omarosa calls me a racist and a misogynist, but that is ridiculous — I am not a racist," he said. "My Cabinet is full of African-Americans. There's Ben Carson. Anyway..."

Late Night's Seth Meyers tried actually firing a dog. "We had our fun here," he said after the predictable, adorable debacle, "but in regards to this Omarosa business, let's not forget that anyone who calls a black woman a dog is a racist with a rotted-out soul." Watch below. Peter Weber

August 15, 2018

"America is still reeling from the troubling reminders that Omarosa is still out there," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. He compared Omarosa Manigualt Newman's brand-new book, Unhinged, to "day-old sushi," then turned to her most salacious claim, that she has heard President Trump say the N-word on Celebrity Apprentice outtakes. "If this shocking allegation is true, it would undeniably make some of his fans very happy," Colbert said. "Others would go, 'Eh, I don't like that he's a racist, but you know, taxes.'"

Trump is fighting back on Twitter, denying such a tape exists and calling Omarosa a "dog." "That is so weird that Trump uses 'dog' as an insult," Colbert said. "He should love dogs — you don't have to pay to watch them pee." Still, "that's it, the president categorically denies saying the N-word," he added, and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders ... was more equivocal.

"Omarosa continued her Trumpapalooza world tour this afternoon," Colbert said, and he wasn't super sympathetic about her whistle-blowing: "Be careful, Omarosa, you wouldn't want to damage your relationship with the president — he might not hire you four more times." But she did actually drop a bombshell, claiming Trump had advance notice about the leaked Hillary Clinton campaign emails. "That is a massive revelation!" he said. "The emails that Russia hacked, that WikiLeaks leaked, Donald Trump somehow knew before they were actually released. Somewhere in Washington, Robert Mueller is yelling, 'Uh, spoiler alert! Come on!' But Omarosa didn't just accuse the president of being a traitor to his country — she also accused him of being a bad friend," tarring allies with mean nicknames behind their backs. Colbert cut deep: "Yes, he had derogatory names for everybody. Some of them are really cruel. I hear he called this one guy 'Donald Trump Jr.'" Watch below. Peter Weber

August 14, 2018

"Yet another close adviser to President Trump has betrayed him," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "The White House is basically a reboot of The Last Supper: Oops! All Judases!" The latest betrayal is by Omarosa Manigault Newman, whose "salacious new book" is "filled with shocking details that you already knew," he said. Still, he feigned surprise that the book's title, Unhinged, refers to Trump, not "what Stephen Miller does with his jaw to eat his breakfast gazelle." There's a photo with that joke.

Omarosa's biggest charge is her discovery that Trump uses the N-word. "This is huge," Colbert deadpanned. "Finally we have proof that the guy who refused to rent to black tenants, said that a Nazi Klan rally had some 'fine people,' and called Africa a 's--thole' is a racist." But the allegations get much weirder, like her claims Trump wanted to be sworn in on The Art of the Deal rather than the Bible and she saw the "germaphobe" president swallowing a document in the Oval Office. "Well, the hunt for Trump's tax returns just got way grosser," he joked.

Omarosa also secretly recorded her firing by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly in the Situation Room — "Gen. Kelly, you work for Donald Trump, I wouldn't worry about other people's reputations," Colbert said — Trump's mock disbelief at her firing, and other White House encounters. Colbert read some of Trump's retaliatory Omarosa tweets. "The media's been all over Omarosa's Omaroasting of her former boss, but while they're reporting on it, they're also dismissing her as unreliable," he said. "Yes, she's a liar and a backstabber with no credibility — exactly like everyone else in the Trump administration. ... She's not below anyone in the White House. She and Gen. Kelly may have completely different pasts, but they have exactly the same future. You can never scrub off the Trump stank." Watch below. Peter Weber